What the heck?! I just looked at the bigbadchinesemama site and wow! I am speechless. I don't even know what to say about it..but, I have some opinions. Right now I am feeling the pressure of up-coming finals and stressing about grades, and just looking at the picture of the girl with cheetos in her mouth makes me want to scream!! As I browsed the site I just felt feelings of confusion and dislike. I guess I understand that they are trying to get their point across that the whole gentle, quiet, small, Asian girl stereotype is not true, but this is surely a crazy way to get that across. They even admitted on their links page that they never expected their site to have this many people look at it, since it was created as a personal sort of joke.

I may also have a tendency to dislike what they're saying, because many of the articles within the site say bad things about Los Angeles, and I have a lot of love for my city and the lifestyle we follow out here.

I agree with them that the men who wish to find subservient Asian women to care for them are "pigs". I don't think that a woman's job is to care for a man--they certainly can if they wish to, but I do not think that they should give up their well-being and free will for American citizenship. As harsh as this website is, it does have a good message. I just wish they could do it in a little less annoying way.

Venus Boyz was one of the most informative, well-put together documentaries, that I have seen in a long time. I enjoyed getting to see how different each person was when they dressed up as their opposite gender. I think that our class really had a wake up call that there are people who live like that, and I am glad that even if they didn't agree with it, or like it, that they saw it and now have to acknowledge it.

From the time I was young I knew and understood what it meant to be "gay" or "homosexual". My mother's youngest brother was gay and was with his partner until the day he died of AIDS years later. I still consider his partner to be my uncle, just as anyone else would consider their aunt's husband to be their uncle, even after death. My Uncle Frank, my mother's brother, was a sweet, compassionate, hardworking, yet fun-loving man, who unfortuantely was given a blood transfusion before they used to test for diseases, like AIDS. I have participated in the AIDS walk every year of my life, since I was born (in the stroller with my mom and on..) and will continue to do it forever. I feel like there are so many misconceptions about homosexuality and I just wish there was something we could all do to get through to those who continue to judge people they don't know. My uncle didn't get AIDS from having wild sex or doing drugs, like many people think all gay people do, it was not his fault and he was one of the classiest men I have ever known.

Moving on now to the Johnson reading, I don't know how to express how I feel about it, because it was so powerful! I was taken aback at first, by its length, but once I started reading it, I couldn’t get enough! I kept getting excited to see what the next pages held in store for me and actually found myself not wanting it to end. There was so much said that I agreed with to the highest degree, while there was some I wasn’t totally in agreement with. When she talked about not knowing why she sat in the faucet end of the tub, I was right with her. Ever since I have been with my boyfriend I have been profoundly happy and really think I have gotten to know myself better as a person, because of the relationship. But, at the same time, I catch myself doing things I never would have done before, like get up to get him a drink, even if it disrupts what I am doing to something like giving him the last bite of the best chocolate dessert I ever had in my life. Women so often put themselves second to their men, and whether it be knowingly or not, we are not doing ourselves any favors. The funny thing about me realizing the things I do for him, is that I would never tell him, not because I am “scared” or “embarrassed” but I guess, just because I have been socialized as a girl, to cater to men’s needs.

When the article talked about sex, I still agreed with her. Many women have sex, and not nearly enough of them enjoy it. I think sex and sexuality are two extremely empowering tools women have. Unfortunately, too many women “do it”, just to do it, to please their lover. If it’s not “good” or “exciting” a woman should feel comfortable enough to tell the man that, but in so many instances they feel they can’t, due to things such as not wanting to upset him, hurt his ego, or lose him. Ridiculous! If men are mature enough to have sex, and therefore have to deal with the chance of disease and/or pregnancy, they should “be man enough” to handle hearing how to better please their companion.

I am really interested to see how everyone else felt about the article..??

I was inspired to make an update to this somewhat neglected blog (that's changing from here on out) because of something that I saw on TV yesterday morning. I was up early getting ready for work, with the news on, mostly for background noise. But, at the other end of the house, I heard "fat suit" and took interest because what we talked about with the topic of fat hate and striving for fat acceptance. The channel 11 news morning show had Tyra Banks on as a guest star and she was talking about a bit she did this past week for her talk show. Of course, we all know Tyra as the sexy Victoria's Secret model, that a lot of women wish they could be! Well, she decided to have a "fat suit" made for her to see what it would be like to live a day in the life of a large woman. Now, she didn't cave to the stereotypes that fat people are sloppy, because she was sure to point out that she still kept her hair looking gorgeous, her makeup to a tee, and even had designer clothes altered to fit this temporary size. She went on a series of blind dates and to my surprise, the men were extremely disrespectful and rude. That just goes to show that really no matter how well put together an overweight person may be, they are judged and many times not even given a chance to prove themselves. The men on Tyra's dates acted disinterested in intelligible conversation and hardly even made eye contact. They looked uncomfortable and awkward and made her feel hurt.

I was so shocked to see their reactions to a woman who was very good-looking, but overweight, be treated so poorly and judged so quickly (all based on appearances alone). I am glad she went public with such a touchy, overlooked issue in our society. She said, "discrimination against overweight people is the last acceptable form of discrimination" in our society. Racism, sexism, for the most part are not tolerable in the workplace, schools, or even in media, but too many people are not accepting of overweight individuals.

**UPDATE**
Since I wrote this post, still so recently, I have seen Vanessa Manillo of MTV dress up and go out in a "fat suit", as well as a model interviewed by Katie Couric. It's cool to me that these people are getting to see how hard it is to be overweight, especially in a society so heavily influenced by Hollywood, but in a way, it sort of feels mean. As if, they are outcasts that can't be understood or talked to. I think they could have gotten the same info just from interviewing men and women who actually have to deal with it on a day to day basis--who don't get to "take off the suit". Just something to think about and keep your eyes out for..

Wow! I just got done checking out the 2 sites about fat acceptance: http://www.naafa.org and http://www.fatasspdx.com. I don't know if it's because I have never struggled with weight, or if I am just niave, but all the stuff I read was very shocking to me. The closest I have ever come to understanding dieting is seeing my mother buy certain low-carb, low-fat, or non-fat products, and hearing my sorority sisters count how many points everything they consume is worth! I know just from those second hand experiences, though, how annoying dieting can be..it makes me crazy to watch them and hear them talk about weight all the time, especially since I don't think they need to lose it. The world of dieting is huge, especially nowadays, and especially in L.A. People go through so much just to be thin, and actually even just to lose a pound. It is sad to me that corporations make so much money off of people's insecurities about their appearance. If I learned anything from my parents, as a child, it was "It's what's on the inside of a person that counts". Sure, I can admit I don't particularly like to see someone's "flab" hanging out, but that's not my right to dictate how they live. If that person feels confident and comfortable how they are, then more power to them!

To talk particularly about the FATASS cheerleaders, now, I don't agree with their approach. I have never felt that acting radically accomplishes much more than grabbing attention (not necessarily good attention, either). I totally understand their desire to be heard and accepted how they are, but it's a known fact that the world is shallow. I know it is sad, but for the most part, people do not have tolerance for what is different from them, and fat people are a minority group, although the obesity rate is rising. I just don't think that dancing around half-naked doing re-makes of high school cheers is going to do much. If I had never heard of them before, and saw them performing and cheering about letting your "chub" hang out and throw away your scales because diets always fail, would make me question their reliability. Growing up with my mother working as a full-time nurse, I know that being overweight is not healthy for anyone. Sure, some people have bigger frames, but to eat unhealthy and tell everyone it's just how you are, is incorrect and misleading.

I could rant about that forever, but now onto the site I agreed with: The National Assoc. for the Advancement of Fat People. I wasn't sure what to expect from their site, but it didn't disappoint me. Right off the bat, I saw that they are professional, national, and reasonable. They work to educate fat people on learning to accept their size, while striving for health through a healthy diet, exercise, and medical check ups. They don't come off in a way that would make many people standoff-ish, because it is more informative than forceful. By providing me with statistics and information about their appearances on TV news shows and who supports them, I feel more inclined to listen to what they want to tell me, rather than the more radical cheerleaders.

That's all for now..

Fatso.com is very interesting! It reminded me of when I had to go watch slam poetry for my communications class. I could imagine those women, fat, chubby, big boned, voluptuous, whatever you want to call it, standing up on a stage somewhere proclaiming their feelings about the oppression fat people, especially women, face. I got a sense of such passion and power from that site. I must admit, the bare butts were a little much for me, at first glance, but you know what? Nudity is a part of life..we have all seen one before, so what's the shame in showing them on a website? I wish there was more I could about on the site, because it seems a little bare bones, but maybe I will sign up for their chat cafe or check out the book. I also need to say I loved how they transformed such a derogatory word, fatso, into such an empowering one: FAT? SO! Who cares if their fat?..just like I don't think it's anyone's business to care whether or not a person is gay, straight, or black, white, brown, or purple!

I know from some of our previous readings about white privilege and things of that sort that by saying I am glad I am thin, because it is easier, just contributes to the fat hate apparent in our society today, but I must say I don't think I could ever be as strong as these people or as proud of the way I look, even if it's not "normal" or "good" in the eyes of onlookers!

After looking at the website: www.whiteprivilege.com I was astonished at some of the stories it had! Of course I know all about Jim Crow from history class, but I had no idea that there was honestly still segregation today (racism, yes). To think that there was actually a restroom that white employees only had a key to angers me, because that is unfair and just plain mean. I do, however, need to point out what disliked about the website and that is that it is very radical and opinionated. At the same time, though, I am not saying having an opinion is a bad thing, but in order to be credible in any circumstance, you need to present all sides of an issue. For example, with the Tyson Co. article, my imagination went wild and I actually pictured a sign that read "WHITES ONLY" above the restroom door. Now, just because there is not a sign that says that, does not make it okay, but the author of the article may have also written in a way to favor his opinion that white people are racist. I could go on forever, but I will just end with saying that: "Treason to whiteness is Loyalty to Humanity" is one of the worst titles I have ever read. Not only was it hurtful to me, but it goes against pretty much every essay we have read so far, that tells you to embrace your heritage. I don't see why Latinas are encouraged to continue speaking Spanish and practice their customs, when white people are told that when we do it, it is racist. (To each his/her own...)

Now about the readings, I found the second one, by Moraga to be the easiest to read and understand. I liked that she made it so understandable, all while communicating ideas and thoughts that are very deep and complicated. That really shows talent as a writer! I think since this is written as a narrative it is more interesting to me, because I tend to be drawn toward those. When she talked about her "CLICKS" she did a great job of describing how she was feeling at those very moments. Since I am a white woman, I haven't personally dealt with this, but she made me understand it. I don't know how I would feel if I had to come to my senses and realize I had been and was continuing to, knowingly, neglect her mother's "brown-ness". I do, though, think that I would have acted the same because she based everything on her mom's experiences and realized it would just be easier to pass as a white girl. As nice as that sounds, that just makes her into an oppressor, too, because she is just cooperating with "white privilege" and making things harder for others.

I found all 3 of these essays easy to read and I really "got into" them! The first, "Age, Race, Class, and Sex: Women Redefining Difference," made some valid points, and others I didn't necessarily agree with. To begin, Lorde makes the great point of saying that it is hard to challenge yourself to change and/or speak up, but it is necessary and will benefit people other than you! I have been taught to go into everything I do with an open mind, so when I realized I was sort of going on the defensive when Lorde kept singling out "white people" I tried to keep my cool and even talked with my mother about it. Together we realized that Lorde is a member of numerous minorities and that she has been subjected to ridicule and hate her entire life..the least I could do is read on. So, after doing that, I finally got her point. Nothing can or will ever change or get better, if no one speaks up and initiates it. One of her very important points was that we can all be united on the some front, while maintaining our individuality. Acceptance of one another's color, race, class, sexual orientation, etc. will definitely make working together much easier. Speaking up about your feelings may be one of the hardest things in life, but look at what speaking up did for ladies like Elizabeth Cady Stanton!!

I could not believe the ignorant people that Judith Cofer had encountered in her life! I guess I never stopped to think about things like racism in some people's everyday lives, because it doesn't happen to me, personally. She was forced to alter her ways of life to "fit into" American culture, but then she appeared to be a traitor to her fellow Puerto Ricans and vice versa. I could not imagine what this experience must have been like for her, until I read this essay. She did such a great job of communicating how these things made her feel. I learned a lot from reading this, because I tend to react in situations, (especially if I was faced with something like this!), and she saved face and let them get their ego blows in a nonchalant way and at a later time. I loved that she didn't give their ignorance the time of day or any extra attention. This is a great essay for all students to read, and I really liked it!

Oh wow, this was my favorite, by far! Lamm is one hell of a woman. From personal experience with overweight friends, I know they don't typically try to draw attention to themselves. Nomy Lamm on the otherhand is a punk rock, overweight, amputee with the best attitude I have ever encountered. I know we all have our moments where we're down in the dumps, but she, for the most part, looks at herself with acceptance. She is very outspoken, dramatic, witty, and real. I could definitely see her "punk-ness" in her writing, because she had an attitude that seemed to be against conformity. Now, on the issue of fat oppression, just like with racism, I don't think about it too much. I am glad that she is taking initiative and getting the message out there that we are all human, despite our shapes, sizes, and color. "Fat hate" is unfortunately, becoming increasingly more prevalent in our society. We need people like Nomy Lamm to speak out for all of us, because she does a great job of it! (Or the least we can do is follow her example, even if its toned down a bit).

Wow. I really didn't know too much about what to expect from these readings when I started. Now that they are done, I have a strong sense of what it is to be woman and how hard and empowering that can be for some.

In Audre Lorde's, "The Transformation of Silence into Action," she discussed how self-revelation is a source of strength and power. She also said that language could be used in the same way. After being confronted with death, Lorde was motivated to speak out and rally her peers to use their language and take action. She wanted people to create socially responsible language and gain a consciousness of women's place in the world. During all of this, there is an ever-present tension between strength and vulnerability. Vulnerability is to risk being hurt, and no one in our society wants to appear weak to others. Lorde realized that she had been living a life of silence and that it had gone on for long enough. This speech mostly came from her feelings of alienation and the problem she had with constructing an identity for herself (compared herself to the dominant majority her whole life and then saw herself negatively). She didn't see why she should be quiet and eventually suffer the same fate (death) as someone who spoke their mind and tried to make a difference. I think the thing I found to be the most amazing about Lorde, is that she appeared to be her strongest at a time when most others would be the weakest. Faced with death, we should all hope to have the sudden rush of courage she did!

When I first looked at Anzaldua's, "How to Tame a Wild Tongue," I must admit I was a little overwhelmed. I saw Spanish and I began to worry that not understanding it would affect my comprehension of her essay. As it turns out, those feelings seem to be the response she was hoping to get from a person who only understands English. She comes off to the reader as "annoying" because she writes in Spanglish, but she purposely did it to make a point. She, now, is able to alienate English-speaking people by putting in sentences that they do not understand, just like the situations she was faced with all through life (struggled to communicate in a place where non-English speaking people were shunned). One of her main messages is that your language is your identity, and to rid yourself of that (much like Americans try to do to immigrants) is to lose your identity. Anzaldua is faced with a constant burden of accomodation, meaning that she has to code-switch so often it is hard for her to determine exactly who she should most identify with (the English speaker, slang speaker, Tex Mex, Spanish, etc). Facing fragmentation of identity is also another issue touched upon in her writings.

Although it took me some time to really get into Anzaldua's writings, after a few tries, I was able to see where she was coming from, without necessarily agreeing with everything she said. I think both of these women were tremendously strong and beautiful and their work, on behalf of all women, should be commended!

Well, day one of school is down..

Who am I? That's a good, but tough question! Let's see, I am 19 years old and starting my sophomore year, here at CSUN. I am a member of the sorority Kappa Kappa Gamma and majoring in Child and Adolescent Development. I see myself in a very positive light. I am hardworking, dedicated, caring, kind, patient, and friendly. I love doing things to help others, either through community service, volunteering, or helping someone who asks me. I was in Girl Scouts for 13 years of my life (kindergarten through senior year of high school) and that was one of the big things that helped to make me the woman I am today. In high school I actively participated in my student body, and was a part of the student council, prom committee, and varsity swim team. After a year in college, not too much has changed in my life. I still have a very "full plate" in front of me, with school, work, a serious boyfriend, my sorority, and tutoring 2 nights a week. Some people who don't know my personality well may think that I am crazy for having such a full schedule, but I love being busy and having a routine. For as long as I can remember, I have had many activities to keep me busy (synchronized and competitive swimming, Girl Scouts, dance classes, keyboard and guitar lessons, just to name a few), in addition to schoolwork, and have never struggled with grades...I guess I am just used to it!
I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 and a half years and couldn't ask to be in a better, more supportive relationship. Even though I am young, and not wanting to get married for many years, I could see us together forever, because after all, what's better than being completely in love with your best friend? I am currently living at home, because its a short drive to school and I have no reason to leave. I am the "baby" of the family so there are no younger siblings to annoy or distract me, and I get along great with my parents. At the moment I work at Island's Restaurant, but will be leaving there the second week of September to start my new job as a brand representative at the Hollister in Northridge Mall.
I'm sure there is a ton more I could say about myself, but this should definitely help you to get a better idea of just who I am.

*Shana